PS. I loved that birthday photo of you with the bowl cut, the overalls, and the red shoes. Hahaha! Adorable! And I enjoyed the photos of your kids too. They seem to take after you in their freedom of spirit with no fear.
Thanks, Rocket! I think the kids are alright, truly. The new generation gives me hope. They’re rebellious and carefree and fearless and free spirited! And they don’t take themselves too seriously! Can this lack of ego help us out? I hope so!
Hi Tonika, I was prompted to read this after somebody on Kathleen's site mentioned it in the comments, or maybe that was Kathleen. I figured I'd start with Part 1. I loved this, especially learning about your background. I confess, sorry to say, I knew absolutely "nada" about Bulgaria, but you made it come alive and real for me. Loved the music, all sung by people with beautiful smiles, in the most heartfelt of ways.
Now I gotta read Part 2 soon. Thanks for being so interesting and for your unique contribution to substack. You are definitely "none" of a kind. Thanks for sharing.
What a great comment! Much thanks, and I’m so happy it resonated with you! (Part 2 is a beast). Funny I never considered Bulgarian music awesome until recently when I could really hear it. It’s like out of this world, some of the folk stuff, cosmic really. It gives me a great appreciation for a tiny little country to birth so many unique voices. Glad you enjoyed the ride!
Oh and I do have that passion flower growing in my secret garden, behind the garaj mahal. I thought of you when I saw it the other day, and it reminded me to get back to the article I'd started reading before my travels and time with daughters.
Of course you have passion flower growing!! And here’s another synchronicity: my friends and I sometimes get together at their house and jam and sing in their garage. The name so lovingly called by my friends for our meeting place: Garaj Mahal!!
Thanks for taking the time, Tereza. 🙏
I hope time with daughters was quality and your travels were safe and adventurous!
Well I hope you don’t mind, but our encounter on the other side of the world is in my follow up post. You introduced me to the most wondrous place, and in my own homeland, of all places! I have to mention it! Hugging you was an incredible experience! Also, my twins will forever refer to you as my “badass friend, Rebecca”. 😂
"Badass Friend" What an honor, especially from boys of that age! I am tickled pink that you want to add Motocamp & the village to your substack. It is a magical place, isn't it? If you want any photos of Polly's place to add to your part 2, just let me know. I took a bunch of good quality pics for Polly to use. I am sure she would be pleased.
I LOVED reading this, Tonika. Your writing is beautiful, natural, funny, and engaging! And I'm so happy to know you better now. I CLEARLY know Bulgaria better now -- I knew absolutely nothing before reading this! 😂
I got the biggest laugh from your casual explanation: "lyutenitza (ajvar)." Um...🤔🤣 Thank you for opening up your heart and your world to us; it's a fascinating place. xox
Hahahahaha! I just laughed out loud because I really really thought ‘ajvar’ is how it’s more known. It’s delicious. It’s a spread made out of roasted red peppers and tomatoes. Not all ajvar is made the same. And the varieties taste wildly different amongst themselves. But the smell of it slow cooking for the entire day in a fall September is divine. Thanks for going on the is journey with me, Mary! 🤗
Tonika, I loved this so much! Thank you for sharing. So many gems. I especially loved that the librarian found your favorite book for you. I got teary-eyed, too! I have a couple of books in my childhood reading memory that I wish I could find. i can picture the cover on the front so clearly. xoxo
Ain’t that something? I hope you stumble on one of them covers when you least expect it, randomly, when the universe wants to remind you of its magic. ❤️
You would have truly loved the flora there. All kinds of regular goodies: yarrow, dandelions, etc. but also wild poppy, fig trees, fashion flower!?!... btw, I had planted two fig trees at my Chicago home three years ago that never gave fruit. The rabbits would eat their branches to nothing in the winter and every spring, the fig tree would stubbornly put out more branches. So they’re more like fig bushes now. But I came back from my trip and one of the bushes is covered with figs! How bout that! In the winter we make tea out of the leaves and leave it out on the counter for a refreshing cold palette cleanser. The kids and I drink it without any sweeteners. The milky substance that comes out of the part where the fruit attaches to the branch is also medicinal. Figs all the way! Thanks again for the support and the kind words.
Wow.. stunning pictures! Very cool to read about your trip back to your childhood home, and all the thoughts and feelings it evoked.
Two comments: I agree that the wildfires in Canada, particularly in my home province of Quebec where it has been the rainiest summer ever, are very suspicious. And all the same people who were pandemic-zombies going around repeating "Climate change climate change climate change"...
The part that hit home most for me was this: A house is hardly just a cold concrete thing. If a house feels lived in and loved, it’ll keep itself going for its inhabitant’s sake. Its spirit won’t let it mold up and crumble because it knows it’s needed and wanted.
Perhaps I will attempt to compose a stack using that as a jumping off point, and what thoughts it inspires in me.
(oh, and just fyi, I did finally complete the first draft of my novel, it was finished at the beginning of August. I'm taking a one-month break and focusing on another project, and in September I will begin the arduous task of editing and re-writing etc etc. And someday eventually take up the challenge of sending out query letters to publishers and literary agents. Just having completed the thing was a Huge sense of accomplishment though. But a very different type of 'writing' as compared to writing substacks.)
Thanks for this post, sharing some of your travel experiences ❤️
Major kudos on finishing up your first draft. You have a ready to go reader in me. And if you don’t find a publisher and you aren’t too turned off by the likes of Amazon, you can always self publish: either the whole book to be purchased on Amazon or chapter by chapter on Substack.
Thanks for reading the whole long thing and yes, would love to read anything it inspires. Especially about the notions of home. Been a big theme for me lately.
truly enjoyed the "tonic" of this Tonika-infused 100 proof travelogue! soooo awsome yer kiddos get ta share a piece of yer own childhood--library books an' even the cool house! I most enthusiastically recommend ya head ta yer local library (sadly none open 'round the clock here!) an' scoop up a copy of Virginia Lee Burton's, "The Little House" which given all ya wrote about yer childhoold home--will resonate I'm sure: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_House So enjoyed the little home movie with the bed that held yer booger stash!
What a wonder the story of yer musical namesake (or vice versa) ---I love that yer name an' music are inextricably tied an' thankfully it's a cool band too! (ladies in bell bottomed jumpsuits, gents in big lapels, aviator glasses ALL around!)
An yer tale in general of "Bulgaria, Bulgaria" is remindin' me of the awesome song "Rumania, Rumania" by the Barry Sisters (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLRlcLP8xS8 ).. like yer lyrical piece, it starts out slow but then moves inta this joyful, celebrational rhythm--sort of a mix of pensive an' crazy "smokin' " feisty folks that despite livin' under communism have strong opinions, strong "likkor," an' toted the kids all over too. This phenomenon was known to me--I have good friends from both Albania & Armenia that told me of this--well inta the evenin' the cool balmy nights with adults chattin' over ciggies an' strong cawffee at cafes while the kids run amok, playin' under the tables, hangin' out... All I know who experienced this sliver of E. Euro life have such fond mem'ries of it.
So nice ta see yer kiddos---loved the "re-poses" comparin' the little snaps to the kids now bigger--it all looks....ta me... like LIFE. It's that vibrancy an' the "real" the textures that seem ta be missin' in the USA now--so funny that ya find it where ya left... or maybe not funny, mebbe poignant...
But you are right in the way you said, we make our own memories, we tint our own photos so ta speak! THANK YOU my friend fer takin' US-readers on a very "visceral" ADVENTURE!
Nothing gets past you, Daisy! Funny that, Eastern Europe can feel nostalgic specifically for its vibrancy. I associate communism with grayness, yes, there I was day dreaming about the good ol’ days. Running amok is how we became human! 😂
Nice essay. My heart nearly skipped a beat when I saw the cover of Rufo the Redhead in that...but oh, it's personal and probably not appropriate for public comments. Let's just say, another synchronicity. A lot of this writing reminds me of living in Spain, Cyprus and Malta. Oh happy days. I always reckoned to live in Spain on a more permanent basis but my poor command of the language and the need to ply my art in English speaking waters put the kibosh on that. But I think Bulgaria, at least your representation of it, would have sat well with me. Nice writing as always ...Toni!!
Thank you. All those places you mention sound like heaven. I’ve never been! But I’m glad you didn’t take you gift of writing away from English speaking waters! Also, ow you gotta spill the beans on the Redhead stuff...
Thank you, Tonika for this window into an unknown world. Yet, not so different in some ways, from all human life too. You're a treasure. Enjoyed this very much. Best.
I’m grateful that you appreciated it and for the lovely comments. It’s really comforting to me that regardless of how unfamiliar a people can be, the human elements rhyme the same: a smile is a smile in any language; a broken heart aches the same no matter where you go. This is why I’m hopeful that the human race will eventually evolve out of the psychopathic energy that has entrapped us. We’ll leave that nonsense in the dust one day. Let’s hope this physical reiteration of ourselves is still around to witness it. ❤️
Super super wholesome. The kiddos will look back and be very grateful that their Mumma provided them with such a formative cultural experience. And that Black Sea sunrise, oof.
Also, while we are oversharing: I remember when we moved out of our childhood home and my dad moved my bed, thus finding a line of boogers along the wall just below the headrest. Surely we aren't the only ones? Or do normal kids just save the mess and recycle them straight away.
Hahahahahaha! You made it to the end! Thanks for not making me feel like a lonely weirdo! I’d say, better than eating them!!
I felt your spirit with me through the entire sunrise, Isaac. During it, I thought: I have to write about it. I know one person who’d find it wholesome! ❤️
They say magick happens outside your comfort zone and I wholeheartedly believe it. Used to get lost in cities I was visiting for the first time on purpose. See if I can make my way back by simply talking to people and asking for directions. Way before cellphones were so ubiquitous. You'd meet the cookiest people!
Enjoyed the read, the sights and the sounds. A delightful look into a culture i have not experienced, thanks for sharing. Just thinking about what I have missed.
And I also loved reading this- as I’m the type who’s nostalgic for breakfast come lunch time, revisiting is such medicine. Especially the fact that you are sharing yourself this way with your boys, which is no mean feat but most of all the library find- one day o hope to come across some old ant and bee books
You’ve put it out in the universe that it is your wish, I think you just might come across that Ant and Bee book. May it be so! Thanks for your comment, Natasha. 🙏
PS. I loved that birthday photo of you with the bowl cut, the overalls, and the red shoes. Hahaha! Adorable! And I enjoyed the photos of your kids too. They seem to take after you in their freedom of spirit with no fear.
Thanks, Rocket! I think the kids are alright, truly. The new generation gives me hope. They’re rebellious and carefree and fearless and free spirited! And they don’t take themselves too seriously! Can this lack of ego help us out? I hope so!
Hi Tonika, I was prompted to read this after somebody on Kathleen's site mentioned it in the comments, or maybe that was Kathleen. I figured I'd start with Part 1. I loved this, especially learning about your background. I confess, sorry to say, I knew absolutely "nada" about Bulgaria, but you made it come alive and real for me. Loved the music, all sung by people with beautiful smiles, in the most heartfelt of ways.
Now I gotta read Part 2 soon. Thanks for being so interesting and for your unique contribution to substack. You are definitely "none" of a kind. Thanks for sharing.
What a great comment! Much thanks, and I’m so happy it resonated with you! (Part 2 is a beast). Funny I never considered Bulgarian music awesome until recently when I could really hear it. It’s like out of this world, some of the folk stuff, cosmic really. It gives me a great appreciation for a tiny little country to birth so many unique voices. Glad you enjoyed the ride!
This is just gorgeous! More please!
Weaving the second one now. Thanks for the encouragement, fellow traveler. 🙏
This was so magical, Tonika! The meeting with the soloist gave me goosebumps. I love having this context for you, and happy to be on your journey.
Oh and I do have that passion flower growing in my secret garden, behind the garaj mahal. I thought of you when I saw it the other day, and it reminded me to get back to the article I'd started reading before my travels and time with daughters.
Of course you have passion flower growing!! And here’s another synchronicity: my friends and I sometimes get together at their house and jam and sing in their garage. The name so lovingly called by my friends for our meeting place: Garaj Mahal!!
Thanks for taking the time, Tereza. 🙏
I hope time with daughters was quality and your travels were safe and adventurous!
I love this!! My eyes leaked a little with some of your descriptions. And those dimples your dad had! I recognized the smile...
I can picture everything in my mind! I am so happy that I got to meet the twins and hug you so tight while we were both in Bulgaria.
Well I hope you don’t mind, but our encounter on the other side of the world is in my follow up post. You introduced me to the most wondrous place, and in my own homeland, of all places! I have to mention it! Hugging you was an incredible experience! Also, my twins will forever refer to you as my “badass friend, Rebecca”. 😂
"Badass Friend" What an honor, especially from boys of that age! I am tickled pink that you want to add Motocamp & the village to your substack. It is a magical place, isn't it? If you want any photos of Polly's place to add to your part 2, just let me know. I took a bunch of good quality pics for Polly to use. I am sure she would be pleased.
Yeah, sure, email me some, please. I took a couple, but it was getting dark when I got there.
I LOVED reading this, Tonika. Your writing is beautiful, natural, funny, and engaging! And I'm so happy to know you better now. I CLEARLY know Bulgaria better now -- I knew absolutely nothing before reading this! 😂
I got the biggest laugh from your casual explanation: "lyutenitza (ajvar)." Um...🤔🤣 Thank you for opening up your heart and your world to us; it's a fascinating place. xox
Hahahahaha! I just laughed out loud because I really really thought ‘ajvar’ is how it’s more known. It’s delicious. It’s a spread made out of roasted red peppers and tomatoes. Not all ajvar is made the same. And the varieties taste wildly different amongst themselves. But the smell of it slow cooking for the entire day in a fall September is divine. Thanks for going on the is journey with me, Mary! 🤗
I'm going to look for ajvar! It sounds delicious...
Text me your addy and I’ll send you the good stuff.
Seriously? You are the BOMB. Okay, I'll text ya 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
🙌
Tonika, I loved this so much! Thank you for sharing. So many gems. I especially loved that the librarian found your favorite book for you. I got teary-eyed, too! I have a couple of books in my childhood reading memory that I wish I could find. i can picture the cover on the front so clearly. xoxo
Ain’t that something? I hope you stumble on one of them covers when you least expect it, randomly, when the universe wants to remind you of its magic. ❤️
You would have truly loved the flora there. All kinds of regular goodies: yarrow, dandelions, etc. but also wild poppy, fig trees, fashion flower!?!... btw, I had planted two fig trees at my Chicago home three years ago that never gave fruit. The rabbits would eat their branches to nothing in the winter and every spring, the fig tree would stubbornly put out more branches. So they’re more like fig bushes now. But I came back from my trip and one of the bushes is covered with figs! How bout that! In the winter we make tea out of the leaves and leave it out on the counter for a refreshing cold palette cleanser. The kids and I drink it without any sweeteners. The milky substance that comes out of the part where the fruit attaches to the branch is also medicinal. Figs all the way! Thanks again for the support and the kind words.
That sounds amazing, Tonika!! Glad you had such a wonderful adventure. xo
Wow.. stunning pictures! Very cool to read about your trip back to your childhood home, and all the thoughts and feelings it evoked.
Two comments: I agree that the wildfires in Canada, particularly in my home province of Quebec where it has been the rainiest summer ever, are very suspicious. And all the same people who were pandemic-zombies going around repeating "Climate change climate change climate change"...
The part that hit home most for me was this: A house is hardly just a cold concrete thing. If a house feels lived in and loved, it’ll keep itself going for its inhabitant’s sake. Its spirit won’t let it mold up and crumble because it knows it’s needed and wanted.
Perhaps I will attempt to compose a stack using that as a jumping off point, and what thoughts it inspires in me.
(oh, and just fyi, I did finally complete the first draft of my novel, it was finished at the beginning of August. I'm taking a one-month break and focusing on another project, and in September I will begin the arduous task of editing and re-writing etc etc. And someday eventually take up the challenge of sending out query letters to publishers and literary agents. Just having completed the thing was a Huge sense of accomplishment though. But a very different type of 'writing' as compared to writing substacks.)
Thanks for this post, sharing some of your travel experiences ❤️
Major kudos on finishing up your first draft. You have a ready to go reader in me. And if you don’t find a publisher and you aren’t too turned off by the likes of Amazon, you can always self publish: either the whole book to be purchased on Amazon or chapter by chapter on Substack.
Thanks for reading the whole long thing and yes, would love to read anything it inspires. Especially about the notions of home. Been a big theme for me lately.
truly enjoyed the "tonic" of this Tonika-infused 100 proof travelogue! soooo awsome yer kiddos get ta share a piece of yer own childhood--library books an' even the cool house! I most enthusiastically recommend ya head ta yer local library (sadly none open 'round the clock here!) an' scoop up a copy of Virginia Lee Burton's, "The Little House" which given all ya wrote about yer childhoold home--will resonate I'm sure: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_House So enjoyed the little home movie with the bed that held yer booger stash!
What a wonder the story of yer musical namesake (or vice versa) ---I love that yer name an' music are inextricably tied an' thankfully it's a cool band too! (ladies in bell bottomed jumpsuits, gents in big lapels, aviator glasses ALL around!)
An yer tale in general of "Bulgaria, Bulgaria" is remindin' me of the awesome song "Rumania, Rumania" by the Barry Sisters (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLRlcLP8xS8 ).. like yer lyrical piece, it starts out slow but then moves inta this joyful, celebrational rhythm--sort of a mix of pensive an' crazy "smokin' " feisty folks that despite livin' under communism have strong opinions, strong "likkor," an' toted the kids all over too. This phenomenon was known to me--I have good friends from both Albania & Armenia that told me of this--well inta the evenin' the cool balmy nights with adults chattin' over ciggies an' strong cawffee at cafes while the kids run amok, playin' under the tables, hangin' out... All I know who experienced this sliver of E. Euro life have such fond mem'ries of it.
So nice ta see yer kiddos---loved the "re-poses" comparin' the little snaps to the kids now bigger--it all looks....ta me... like LIFE. It's that vibrancy an' the "real" the textures that seem ta be missin' in the USA now--so funny that ya find it where ya left... or maybe not funny, mebbe poignant...
But you are right in the way you said, we make our own memories, we tint our own photos so ta speak! THANK YOU my friend fer takin' US-readers on a very "visceral" ADVENTURE!
Nothing gets past you, Daisy! Funny that, Eastern Europe can feel nostalgic specifically for its vibrancy. I associate communism with grayness, yes, there I was day dreaming about the good ol’ days. Running amok is how we became human! 😂
;-) runnin' amok even now is how we'll stay human too!
💯 right you are again!
Nice essay. My heart nearly skipped a beat when I saw the cover of Rufo the Redhead in that...but oh, it's personal and probably not appropriate for public comments. Let's just say, another synchronicity. A lot of this writing reminds me of living in Spain, Cyprus and Malta. Oh happy days. I always reckoned to live in Spain on a more permanent basis but my poor command of the language and the need to ply my art in English speaking waters put the kibosh on that. But I think Bulgaria, at least your representation of it, would have sat well with me. Nice writing as always ...Toni!!
Thank you. All those places you mention sound like heaven. I’ve never been! But I’m glad you didn’t take you gift of writing away from English speaking waters! Also, ow you gotta spill the beans on the Redhead stuff...
I will, I will
Thank you, Tonika for this window into an unknown world. Yet, not so different in some ways, from all human life too. You're a treasure. Enjoyed this very much. Best.
I’m grateful that you appreciated it and for the lovely comments. It’s really comforting to me that regardless of how unfamiliar a people can be, the human elements rhyme the same: a smile is a smile in any language; a broken heart aches the same no matter where you go. This is why I’m hopeful that the human race will eventually evolve out of the psychopathic energy that has entrapped us. We’ll leave that nonsense in the dust one day. Let’s hope this physical reiteration of ourselves is still around to witness it. ❤️
"...the human elements rhyme the same: a smile is a smile in any language; a broken heart aches the same no matter where you go." Beautifully said.
I look forward to it being a memory. Yes, let's hope to ride it all the way through.🏄♀️💕
Surf’s up!
A very engaging read. A welcome difference to the usual fare we get on substack!
Thanks, Gary, that’s super encouraging to read.
Was thinking the same, Gary. Who doesn't love a personal take on a world unfamiliar to them? And all those photos!
Super super wholesome. The kiddos will look back and be very grateful that their Mumma provided them with such a formative cultural experience. And that Black Sea sunrise, oof.
Also, while we are oversharing: I remember when we moved out of our childhood home and my dad moved my bed, thus finding a line of boogers along the wall just below the headrest. Surely we aren't the only ones? Or do normal kids just save the mess and recycle them straight away.
Hahahahahaha! You made it to the end! Thanks for not making me feel like a lonely weirdo! I’d say, better than eating them!!
I felt your spirit with me through the entire sunrise, Isaac. During it, I thought: I have to write about it. I know one person who’d find it wholesome! ❤️
I copied the Christopher McCandless quote. thought it was appropriate. I like adventure, outside of the box:: comfort zones seem to be spirit killers.
They say magick happens outside your comfort zone and I wholeheartedly believe it. Used to get lost in cities I was visiting for the first time on purpose. See if I can make my way back by simply talking to people and asking for directions. Way before cellphones were so ubiquitous. You'd meet the cookiest people!
interesting protocol. brave.
Or dum dum. 😬
Enjoyed the read, the sights and the sounds. A delightful look into a culture i have not experienced, thanks for sharing. Just thinking about what I have missed.
And I also loved reading this- as I’m the type who’s nostalgic for breakfast come lunch time, revisiting is such medicine. Especially the fact that you are sharing yourself this way with your boys, which is no mean feat but most of all the library find- one day o hope to come across some old ant and bee books
You’ve put it out in the universe that it is your wish, I think you just might come across that Ant and Bee book. May it be so! Thanks for your comment, Natasha. 🙏