May this comment find us all ever closer to God, and His Love.
As a pensioner that has little left after rent and utilities, and since I need to eat .. I am not able to support your work with money. I can only hope to add value by comment.
Even before my death and return (3 days in comma) death only means those people are away yet still alive in my soul. I'm looking forward to returning to death except for that Burning in Purgatory, but next time it should go smoother - I will try not to fight against the Agony and willingly accept it, pass through it.
I miss the others there and will open my mind to share as soon as I get back. No loneliness once through the Burning.
This AI generated audio overview has some background. For years I Journalled daily and recently I've been gathering up some of them which records some of my Memories, Dreams, Inspirations, Communications, .. and sent them through the AI for overview.
I'm glad you felt free enough to share your grief. I think it has been felt massively in the collective this past week. I have limited what I'm watching, but the few stories I've heard are hard to shake from my heart. I hope you're home safe and hugging your loved ones tight. You're a dear heart, Tonika. XOXO
I know your empath soul absorbs more than most. Yes, hugging mine tight. My little just fell asleep in my arms after crying himself exhausted because he was saying goodbye to 5 - we celebrate his 6th tomorrow. I didn’t try and stop his sobs. I thought he might have needed a good cry, a release from the collective trauma that’s out there. Thanks for your understanding, Barbara. Much love to you. ❤️
Oh my goodness, Tonika. That just choked me up. Doesn't take much these days. So many unexpected tears. Maybe because it's Cancer season, IDK. What a precious age - 5 AND 6 - and a blessing that the two of you chose to navigate this crazy, wonderful life together. Happy Happy Birthday to your sweet one! XOXO
Thank you, Tonika, for sharing what you are going through with us. Maybe we can help ease your burden a little by holding you in our thoughts. I pray for your continued courage.
You're reminding me of a post that went something like "I don't think it's healthy that we can be exposed to so much tragedy before breakfast and have to just go about our days as if we didn't just witness so much".
I wouldn't be here if I was capable of tuning things out, but I recognize why many people see it as the right choice for one's sanity. But that seems like a paradox, is it truly sane to tune everything out? I'm not so sure these days.
It absolutely takes a toll, for what it's worth I feel you here.
I'm glad you chose to share this, it's not at all easy to face much less express.
I appreciate that, Gabe. Yeah, not healthy to normalise, not healthy to absorb it all. That’s why holding a piece of it is the most I can carry. And if we each carried a piece… maybe we can evolve as a species. Radical empathy. Thanks for this comment.
When I have personally feel overwhelmed by the carnage, that is this physical world, and all its predators and prey, I feel only able to reach, for humility that is usually found in the words of others.
Take this one Tonika, my dear friend - from the Upanishad
"The truth upholds the fragrant earth, and makes the living water wet. Truth makes fire burn, and the air move, makes the sun shine, and all life grow. A hidden truth, supports every thing find it and win."
I am trying to find a balance there. Difficult for me. In early 2008 i saw the economic collapse coming. I divested myself of the ranch i had acquired in late 2007 and bought an old motor home to live in.
I wss helping Tibetans fund a boarding school, built a library, feed and clothed 300+ kids, built remote clinics. The undergroind gov in Tibet knew of my situation and told me not to send more money. I still gave every extra dime i had to help.
Having lived in a monastery there i was well aware of their plight.
Here i am still helping many and not getting the things i want for myself.
Sometimes i get a bit resentful. However i cannot stop helping others.
Looking for that balance.
I have had the honor in this life to get to know a few really great unsung heroes. People that helped others selflessly. Humbling they are. Risking their personal safety. Ojen and several others in Tibet. Some met terrible ends for helping others. My heroes.
You are doing excellent. Showing your children the WAY.
I need to add that you are doing a great service to others through your substack and play. This is a great helping. I am honored to have you as a friend. Lots of sacrifice of time goes into your endeavors. Time is the irreplaceable commodity.
I've been going through similar things and I guess for us going through middle age is much different than it was for our parents.
You're on the right track to write or talk about it.
I love to share info with my woman and she does with me and it makes the absurdity of life easier to bear! Good friends help a lot too.
There's a therapeutic effect of explaining a thing that bothers you and it's great to have an outlet.
I think that explaining an event works without a therapist, just a friend etc because when you are trying to form language of an event, you have to re- remember it , process it to explain it.. which makes you learn more about it as you are focusing on it.
You're a brave and compassionate person, Tonika. Thinking of you traveling back to your loving family. I'm sure all the love you sent will be received.
Okay, now that you're back, I'm going to go a little edgier. And I'm talking about myself here, and the rituals I used to go through when my kids were away from me or I was away from them. I wonder if empathy is a form of superstition that, if we feel enough suffering for others, the bad thing won't happen to our own.
I don't mean, of course, the person standing in front of you that you're comforting. I don't mean blaming those to whom bad things have happened. But pain and grief are not actually zero-sum games, where the more you take on, the less someone else feels.
I think that's what I was talking about in this one: https://thirdparadigm.substack.com/p/dare-to-be-happy. It feels risky and wrong to be happy when terrible things are happening to others. But I think it's the opposite. Not sure I can explain it, but it's something I've been coming to. Discard if not useful.
No no, I think I get it. I remember reading that and thinking that yes, on some level, being radically (and genuinely, not performatively) happy is the antidote to the miserable energy that surrounds us. And suffering is just a part of the Ying Yang - both necessary for our evolution and as a way to balance out and appreciate the joy. I do think there’s an attraction to empathy for the suffering of others so hopefully avoiding our own. It’s still an unpleasant feeling and when it sits with you for a long time it’s stifling.
Few have been as radically joyful as you, Tonika, when it comes to your own hardships and life-threatening challenges. I wonder even if there's an inverse relationship. My ex is always worried about the sky falling--losing his job, his money, his health. Yet when the bad things happen, he's calm and positive. Great person to be around in a crisis, where I get flustered and panicky. So I wonder if your own misfortunes give you the freedom to express your full beam of light. I know I've been in awe of it.
That’s really kind of you to say, T. I try to not let the turkeys get me down. Perhaps there’s something to what you say: by having one’s life in chaos, always at the brink of collapse, then when one’s world is on free fall, there’s a calmness and a trust that it’ll be ok in the end.
This crazy life is still so darn beautiful. I had a few days of movie shooting, bday celebrating, parental stuff… and then today, out of nowhere, my friend invited me and the twins on her boat again. We dropped everything and went to watch the sun set over the Chicago skyline. Talk about beauty! Spontaneous moment with zero cell phones, capturing nature’s canvas being majestic af and sharing it with my kids. Cancer? Pfffft! Didn’t even cross my mind. Except that, subconsciously, the brush with it has made me appreciate the now so much more.
Ah... the gold old days (20s) when we were immortal. Life has changed.
Do the bumps round us off? Polish us smooth? Or do they chip us and make us sharp?
Good question. Joy seems ro be more potent than cynicism. At least from where I’m sitting.
That is certainly a wonderful outlook on life.
Being manically creative seems to be the best coping strategy.
Commencing manically creative mode.
May this comment find us all ever closer to God, and His Love.
As a pensioner that has little left after rent and utilities, and since I need to eat .. I am not able to support your work with money. I can only hope to add value by comment.
Even before my death and return (3 days in comma) death only means those people are away yet still alive in my soul. I'm looking forward to returning to death except for that Burning in Purgatory, but next time it should go smoother - I will try not to fight against the Agony and willingly accept it, pass through it.
I miss the others there and will open my mind to share as soon as I get back. No loneliness once through the Burning.
God Bless., Steve
How have you managed to keep your memories from Purgatory?
I’m grateful for you comments, they do add value, thank you. 🙏
This AI generated audio overview has some background. For years I Journalled daily and recently I've been gathering up some of them which records some of my Memories, Dreams, Inspirations, Communications, .. and sent them through the AI for overview.
https://notebooklm.google.com/notebook/d3d50ae1-20db-4749-8c7b-6ce30c248e7b/audio
God Bless., Steve
Turning in for the night, but will check out the link later. Thanks for sharing. 🙏
I'm glad you felt free enough to share your grief. I think it has been felt massively in the collective this past week. I have limited what I'm watching, but the few stories I've heard are hard to shake from my heart. I hope you're home safe and hugging your loved ones tight. You're a dear heart, Tonika. XOXO
I know your empath soul absorbs more than most. Yes, hugging mine tight. My little just fell asleep in my arms after crying himself exhausted because he was saying goodbye to 5 - we celebrate his 6th tomorrow. I didn’t try and stop his sobs. I thought he might have needed a good cry, a release from the collective trauma that’s out there. Thanks for your understanding, Barbara. Much love to you. ❤️
Oh my goodness, Tonika. That just choked me up. Doesn't take much these days. So many unexpected tears. Maybe because it's Cancer season, IDK. What a precious age - 5 AND 6 - and a blessing that the two of you chose to navigate this crazy, wonderful life together. Happy Happy Birthday to your sweet one! XOXO
Therapy for one is therapy for all, I say. Thank you, dear heart. xoxox
🫂 Thank you, friend. Big hugs.
Thank you, Tonika, for sharing what you are going through with us. Maybe we can help ease your burden a little by holding you in our thoughts. I pray for your continued courage.
Thank you, Ronnie. Prayers always welcomed. Feeling the shared connection.
Very moving, I have no intention of treading on your grief by saying more.
Thank you Tonika for the dose of humanity. ❤️ No avoiding heart-ache when you've got a heart.
❤️ tenderly put. Thank you.
Me too.
You know.
Love you mate.
I know. Love you right back, friend.
I was sitting with you right there in the airport. My life is a mess.
You're reminding me of a post that went something like "I don't think it's healthy that we can be exposed to so much tragedy before breakfast and have to just go about our days as if we didn't just witness so much".
I wouldn't be here if I was capable of tuning things out, but I recognize why many people see it as the right choice for one's sanity. But that seems like a paradox, is it truly sane to tune everything out? I'm not so sure these days.
It absolutely takes a toll, for what it's worth I feel you here.
I'm glad you chose to share this, it's not at all easy to face much less express.
Here for you however I can be 🫂
I appreciate that, Gabe. Yeah, not healthy to normalise, not healthy to absorb it all. That’s why holding a piece of it is the most I can carry. And if we each carried a piece… maybe we can evolve as a species. Radical empathy. Thanks for this comment.
When I have personally feel overwhelmed by the carnage, that is this physical world, and all its predators and prey, I feel only able to reach, for humility that is usually found in the words of others.
Take this one Tonika, my dear friend - from the Upanishad
"The truth upholds the fragrant earth, and makes the living water wet. Truth makes fire burn, and the air move, makes the sun shine, and all life grow. A hidden truth, supports every thing find it and win."
You got this bitch!
And I hope this bitch got me. She can be tough sometimes. Thanks for sharing that quote. Ima sit with it for a bit.
Horrors abound in this world. I try not to think of them too much. Offer up prayers on occassion. I do not look at any news, was unaware.
It’s much easier when you’re being of service to others, escaping the horrors. It’s a way to carry the burden. Leaning into more of that myself.
I am trying to find a balance there. Difficult for me. In early 2008 i saw the economic collapse coming. I divested myself of the ranch i had acquired in late 2007 and bought an old motor home to live in.
I wss helping Tibetans fund a boarding school, built a library, feed and clothed 300+ kids, built remote clinics. The undergroind gov in Tibet knew of my situation and told me not to send more money. I still gave every extra dime i had to help.
Having lived in a monastery there i was well aware of their plight.
Here i am still helping many and not getting the things i want for myself.
Sometimes i get a bit resentful. However i cannot stop helping others.
Looking for that balance.
I have had the honor in this life to get to know a few really great unsung heroes. People that helped others selflessly. Humbling they are. Risking their personal safety. Ojen and several others in Tibet. Some met terrible ends for helping others. My heroes.
You are doing excellent. Showing your children the WAY.
AGAPE my friend
Agape!
Sharing your story helps others too. It all resonates around us in the morphic field. :) thank you, David!
I need to add that you are doing a great service to others through your substack and play. This is a great helping. I am honored to have you as a friend. Lots of sacrifice of time goes into your endeavors. Time is the irreplaceable commodity.
And I honeyed to call you a friend. Thank you for recognising my time and energy commitment to the world through art. Much appreciated.
Have a great trip!
I've been going through similar things and I guess for us going through middle age is much different than it was for our parents.
You're on the right track to write or talk about it.
I love to share info with my woman and she does with me and it makes the absurdity of life easier to bear! Good friends help a lot too.
There's a therapeutic effect of explaining a thing that bothers you and it's great to have an outlet.
I think that explaining an event works without a therapist, just a friend etc because when you are trying to form language of an event, you have to re- remember it , process it to explain it.. which makes you learn more about it as you are focusing on it.
Good point. You’re lucky you have someone close to share it all with. Relationships need to be strong friendships above all else. I wish I had that.
You're a brave and compassionate person, Tonika. Thinking of you traveling back to your loving family. I'm sure all the love you sent will be received.
Thank you. Made it back home safe. Somber day. Hugging them and holding them tight.
Okay, now that you're back, I'm going to go a little edgier. And I'm talking about myself here, and the rituals I used to go through when my kids were away from me or I was away from them. I wonder if empathy is a form of superstition that, if we feel enough suffering for others, the bad thing won't happen to our own.
I don't mean, of course, the person standing in front of you that you're comforting. I don't mean blaming those to whom bad things have happened. But pain and grief are not actually zero-sum games, where the more you take on, the less someone else feels.
I think that's what I was talking about in this one: https://thirdparadigm.substack.com/p/dare-to-be-happy. It feels risky and wrong to be happy when terrible things are happening to others. But I think it's the opposite. Not sure I can explain it, but it's something I've been coming to. Discard if not useful.
No no, I think I get it. I remember reading that and thinking that yes, on some level, being radically (and genuinely, not performatively) happy is the antidote to the miserable energy that surrounds us. And suffering is just a part of the Ying Yang - both necessary for our evolution and as a way to balance out and appreciate the joy. I do think there’s an attraction to empathy for the suffering of others so hopefully avoiding our own. It’s still an unpleasant feeling and when it sits with you for a long time it’s stifling.
Few have been as radically joyful as you, Tonika, when it comes to your own hardships and life-threatening challenges. I wonder even if there's an inverse relationship. My ex is always worried about the sky falling--losing his job, his money, his health. Yet when the bad things happen, he's calm and positive. Great person to be around in a crisis, where I get flustered and panicky. So I wonder if your own misfortunes give you the freedom to express your full beam of light. I know I've been in awe of it.
That’s really kind of you to say, T. I try to not let the turkeys get me down. Perhaps there’s something to what you say: by having one’s life in chaos, always at the brink of collapse, then when one’s world is on free fall, there’s a calmness and a trust that it’ll be ok in the end.
This crazy life is still so darn beautiful. I had a few days of movie shooting, bday celebrating, parental stuff… and then today, out of nowhere, my friend invited me and the twins on her boat again. We dropped everything and went to watch the sun set over the Chicago skyline. Talk about beauty! Spontaneous moment with zero cell phones, capturing nature’s canvas being majestic af and sharing it with my kids. Cancer? Pfffft! Didn’t even cross my mind. Except that, subconsciously, the brush with it has made me appreciate the now so much more.
I felt all that you just wrote in my heart 💔 Sending love ♥️
Received and reciprocated, dear. Thank you for sharing the heartache with me.