I couldn't skim this, Tonika, I needed to soak in every word, which is why it took me so long. Really?!!! A year to the day? That's so crazy. I love your marta connection. I love marta. And that your doc wasn't there because of Yum Kipper. You know that adds an extra slice of conspiratorial cake for me!
I am flabbergasted with gratitude for you, but this is certainly a miracle that belongs to all of us. How many people will your brave example touch and give courage to? I think you've birthed a movement of deviants ;-)
😂 I think the deviants were already there, I’m just joining and hoping to expand the numbers!
So, Marta and her husband and her son came out for my birthday jam jam on Wednesday and rocked so hard!! She sure can tickle those keys!
Thanks for being with me on this adventure, T. And for expanding my understanding of reality (not just through reading your stack and book, but also through conversation) and thanks for adding some conspiratorial spice to it too. Hoping the ladies of the Apocalyptomist Club can get together next year in person. We can dance our pants off.
Oh I forgot that marta played the piano! That's so cool. Amy also plays. And don't forget that I have a piano here, which I bought with the proceeds from selling a domain--in-formed.com. It was a great trade!
Always happy to expand our realities. Thanks for letting me!
Such an inspiring essay Ton. You might think about extending it for others when you have time - if ever. But it was so lucid and beautifully written. So self - empowering. Huge congratulations in respect of manifesting your own strengths, very impressive.
I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU, TONIKA—and happy belated birthday!!! 🎉🙌🎊🤗
This has been a teary day, being the four-month anniversary of Michael’s death (https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/the-art-of-losing), but as I was reading your post, happy tears fell down my cheeks. I am beyond ecstatic at your joyous news and even more so because YOU fought the murderous system and beat it yourself (with the love and help of many wonderful souls).
I knew I had to read your post when alone as it gutted me. Your strength is absolutely admirable and inspiring.
Thank you for your friendship, Margaret. And for all the times you dropped me a line of encouragement and the oh, so many resources which I still use today! You are a rock in this community!
Been a rough year. Holidays are coming and we tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves during these times. I say, wear it proudly. It is our vulnerability that makes us resilient, in the end. Love you!
You know how I feel about this result, your process, and YOU. But I don't express enough how much I love your writing, T. It's so perfectly you -- funny, smart, smartass, open-hearted. This line did it for me: "It was like that, mouth full of tasteless starch, my ma at the sink washing dishes, we saw a big fat ZERO under my circulating cancer cell count." Happy birthday a day late, thanks for the shout out to me and hubby, and keep writing sentences like that. I love you, nerd. xox
😂 I know YOU know the struggle is real. Love you so hard, nerd. You seem to attract all the best people, and I consider myself lucky. ❤️ here’s to the future!
OMG Tonika, I'm laughing, I'm crying, I've got tingles of energy running up and down. I feel utterly blessed to know you, to be at your birthday party, to make music with you and your friends, and to share energy work with you! You are a gem and a warrior, with clear eyed seeing, sharp writing, and such a big heart!
I forgot to say in the first comment that I applaud and bow down to how well you interact with the doctors. Incredible. That takes a lot of fortitude to ask for what you need and not give into the high amounts of pressure, from the persons and the whole big system. That is a strong force to reckon with. I just love that your ancestors came to help with that day when you were supposed to get the Lupron shot!!!
Well, you’ve certainly given me some tools. My heart was actually beating pretty fast. I do well with confrontation but have nervous system disregulation if I still need that person to play ball in some way. But I don’t blow my top off often. You don’t seem like you ever do. What’s your secret? 😂
I'm pretty conflict averse, except with my husband. That's one way to cope! Haha, not always the best way. I also am pretty good at seeing many points of view. I used to think that I was just so suggestable, but I've come to see it as understanding there is at least a kernel of truth in almost every perspective. Sometimes one has to dig to get to the truth, but when I find that relatable aspect, that really helps me connect to a person.
Well, like that was never gonna happen, Tonika! The universe has totally got you. Fantastic news - dancing with joy for you over here in Bristol! YAY!!!!!
I sadly have a good friend here who has a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, spread to the liver. I'm going to have a look at the Unbekoming post. Thanks.
It’s hard to know. Pancreas, spread to liver already. Chain smoker, heavy drinker… I think we’re looking less for treatment possibilities and more for Earth frequency-rising miracles now.
A few days ago, a friend went into a come in Germany. The medical team told the family that she suffered a stroke while in the coma and that even if she woke up, and it was a big if, she would be a vegetable. The son and the husband were sad and reluctantly agreed she wouldn’t have wanted to live that way. The daughter was hysterical, lost her mind at the thought of losing her mom. By Friday the medical team told the family they need to have everyone on board with the decision by Monday. On Sunday I texted the daughter that miracles happen, hope for last and i told her I’ll send healing vibrations during my evening meditation. On Monday, out of nowhere my friend opens her eyes. Asks for lemonade and cake. Rips the docs a new a-hole for scaring her family.
Anything is possible. Not that we don’t all die. But certainly no one can tell you when your time is up.
Then do please send Chris Johnson healing vibrations too! I stood in the middle of a stone circle a few days ago doing just that. Nature will decide in the end.
I am overcome with emotion. I was on the edge of my seat with every word. I read this to my family and we were fist pumping for you. Why, oh why, doesn't that American doctor see what the Mexican doctors are doing and get her ass down there to learn the protocol. Oh, I weep for the arrogance. I weep for your strength. I was so worried about you Tonika.
😭 Thank you EDAU!! What a roller coaster! Really appreciate how many kind words you’ve tossed my way throughout this experience. It has definitely helped keep me positive and driven.
I don’t think doctors can admit something outside of conventional methods works. Too much cognitive dissonance. It’s ok. The use will turn. Everything happens in its own time.
Hooray! Tonika this was the BEST nooze evah! I hadda feelin' it would all be OK! MY GOSH what ya endured! Those shots sound like a bear (harder than doin' the cawfee enema cha cha cha mariachi!). Bravo! Ya stood strong in the face of pressure an' guiltin' MDz (who sadly cannot git past their paradigm--tho' perhaps yer good score will teach at last the one that dumped ya a lesson). Life kinda trumps death, no? (no reference ta DJT here.. more like the card game). Somehow yer arrow hit the mark, ya made all the right cherces on yer path among so many options--an' found the LIGHT an' healin' that guided ya thru with flyin' colors. Also, ya look great! (at what price glory, right?) But that means yer health shines thru...so bess all those that helped ya manage in so many ways, specially yer mom who seems like SUCH an amazin' "rock" fer ya. HAPPY HAPPY B'DAY (an' bee day too! this is the NICEST buz evah) xos & "plenty-energy" balls! 🥳 woo hoo! ya made it!
😂 I’m not out of the woods yet! But definitely out of the abyss-mal clutches of the medical system. Sheesh! Thanks, Daisy! 🌼 appreciate you being on this journey!
So we can’t just blame it on dodgy underarm deodorant? What a ride and a read (are you sure there isn’t a book there to be written?). Immensely happy for you, ridiculously inspired by you.
But also: fuck Pluto. He/they owes you big time for that one.
Pluto can go choke on a horse dick. Aquarius better set it straight.
Hey, all them memalanches and woo woo y’all got a girl out of her head and lost in the play zone. Thanks for doing that, Isaac. Really. You’re a class act. 🙌
Even though we hadn’t connected in awhile, it was at a pivotal time that your message validated my route and let me stand more firmly in my confidence. Grateful for you, A! 🥰
WOOOHOOO!!!! Happy Birthday and may you have MANY Many more! What a wonderful story. You have worked so hard. I am SO HAPPY for you. I am honored to know someone like you. Clearly you are deeply connected to your inner truth!
🦋☮️
I couldn't skim this, Tonika, I needed to soak in every word, which is why it took me so long. Really?!!! A year to the day? That's so crazy. I love your marta connection. I love marta. And that your doc wasn't there because of Yum Kipper. You know that adds an extra slice of conspiratorial cake for me!
I am flabbergasted with gratitude for you, but this is certainly a miracle that belongs to all of us. How many people will your brave example touch and give courage to? I think you've birthed a movement of deviants ;-)
😂 I think the deviants were already there, I’m just joining and hoping to expand the numbers!
So, Marta and her husband and her son came out for my birthday jam jam on Wednesday and rocked so hard!! She sure can tickle those keys!
Thanks for being with me on this adventure, T. And for expanding my understanding of reality (not just through reading your stack and book, but also through conversation) and thanks for adding some conspiratorial spice to it too. Hoping the ladies of the Apocalyptomist Club can get together next year in person. We can dance our pants off.
Oh I forgot that marta played the piano! That's so cool. Amy also plays. And don't forget that I have a piano here, which I bought with the proceeds from selling a domain--in-formed.com. It was a great trade!
Always happy to expand our realities. Thanks for letting me!
Such an inspiring essay Ton. You might think about extending it for others when you have time - if ever. But it was so lucid and beautifully written. So self - empowering. Huge congratulations in respect of manifesting your own strengths, very impressive.
Thank you, dear friend! And thanks for letting me gripe your ear off about it all this year. 🥰
I AM SO FREAKING PROUD OF YOU, TONIKA—and happy belated birthday!!! 🎉🙌🎊🤗
This has been a teary day, being the four-month anniversary of Michael’s death (https://margaretannaalice.substack.com/p/the-art-of-losing), but as I was reading your post, happy tears fell down my cheeks. I am beyond ecstatic at your joyous news and even more so because YOU fought the murderous system and beat it yourself (with the love and help of many wonderful souls).
I knew I had to read your post when alone as it gutted me. Your strength is absolutely admirable and inspiring.
Thank you for your friendship, Margaret. And for all the times you dropped me a line of encouragement and the oh, so many resources which I still use today! You are a rock in this community!
Been a rough year. Holidays are coming and we tend to wear our hearts on our sleeves during these times. I say, wear it proudly. It is our vulnerability that makes us resilient, in the end. Love you!
You know how I feel about this result, your process, and YOU. But I don't express enough how much I love your writing, T. It's so perfectly you -- funny, smart, smartass, open-hearted. This line did it for me: "It was like that, mouth full of tasteless starch, my ma at the sink washing dishes, we saw a big fat ZERO under my circulating cancer cell count." Happy birthday a day late, thanks for the shout out to me and hubby, and keep writing sentences like that. I love you, nerd. xox
😂 I know YOU know the struggle is real. Love you so hard, nerd. You seem to attract all the best people, and I consider myself lucky. ❤️ here’s to the future!
Meeting you in Reno will live in my short list of memorable events of 2024.
Your healing journey has been amazing (and relieving).
Ditto. What a highlight to my year! Thank you and Amanda for making time in your schedule and in your hearts. ❤️
OMG Tonika, I'm laughing, I'm crying, I've got tingles of energy running up and down. I feel utterly blessed to know you, to be at your birthday party, to make music with you and your friends, and to share energy work with you! You are a gem and a warrior, with clear eyed seeing, sharp writing, and such a big heart!
🤩 oh, it made my night that you and the fam made it out. You tingle those keys so damn fine!!
And thank you for your help in that last leg of the ordeal. Sheesh. I was at the end of my sailing winds. ❤️
I forgot to say in the first comment that I applaud and bow down to how well you interact with the doctors. Incredible. That takes a lot of fortitude to ask for what you need and not give into the high amounts of pressure, from the persons and the whole big system. That is a strong force to reckon with. I just love that your ancestors came to help with that day when you were supposed to get the Lupron shot!!!
That’s very wise. I struggle with that “in the moment.”
For sure. Me too. Especially when people have strong opinions and feelings behind them, that perhaps touch on my feelings. It's so very hard.
Well, you’ve certainly given me some tools. My heart was actually beating pretty fast. I do well with confrontation but have nervous system disregulation if I still need that person to play ball in some way. But I don’t blow my top off often. You don’t seem like you ever do. What’s your secret? 😂
I'm pretty conflict averse, except with my husband. That's one way to cope! Haha, not always the best way. I also am pretty good at seeing many points of view. I used to think that I was just so suggestable, but I've come to see it as understanding there is at least a kernel of truth in almost every perspective. Sometimes one has to dig to get to the truth, but when I find that relatable aspect, that really helps me connect to a person.
Congratulations! 🎉 What a happy and uplifting story. Thank you for sharing.
In this day and age you have to outwit your doctor to recover. Great job.
Let’s hope my alternative treatment gamble with pay off by being a more permanent status. 🤞
Thank you! 🙏
And happy birthday🎊
Well, like that was never gonna happen, Tonika! The universe has totally got you. Fantastic news - dancing with joy for you over here in Bristol! YAY!!!!!
I sadly have a good friend here who has a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer, spread to the liver. I'm going to have a look at the Unbekoming post. Thanks.
Thank you, Helen! Your support has been needed and wanted.
I’m sorry to hear about your friend. I hope some good info lands their way. Hit me up for any resources I can point to.
It’s hard to know. Pancreas, spread to liver already. Chain smoker, heavy drinker… I think we’re looking less for treatment possibilities and more for Earth frequency-rising miracles now.
A few days ago, a friend went into a come in Germany. The medical team told the family that she suffered a stroke while in the coma and that even if she woke up, and it was a big if, she would be a vegetable. The son and the husband were sad and reluctantly agreed she wouldn’t have wanted to live that way. The daughter was hysterical, lost her mind at the thought of losing her mom. By Friday the medical team told the family they need to have everyone on board with the decision by Monday. On Sunday I texted the daughter that miracles happen, hope for last and i told her I’ll send healing vibrations during my evening meditation. On Monday, out of nowhere my friend opens her eyes. Asks for lemonade and cake. Rips the docs a new a-hole for scaring her family.
Anything is possible. Not that we don’t all die. But certainly no one can tell you when your time is up.
Then do please send Chris Johnson healing vibrations too! I stood in the middle of a stone circle a few days ago doing just that. Nature will decide in the end.
Will do! Doing it tonight.
I am overcome with emotion. I was on the edge of my seat with every word. I read this to my family and we were fist pumping for you. Why, oh why, doesn't that American doctor see what the Mexican doctors are doing and get her ass down there to learn the protocol. Oh, I weep for the arrogance. I weep for your strength. I was so worried about you Tonika.
😭 Thank you EDAU!! What a roller coaster! Really appreciate how many kind words you’ve tossed my way throughout this experience. It has definitely helped keep me positive and driven.
I don’t think doctors can admit something outside of conventional methods works. Too much cognitive dissonance. It’s ok. The use will turn. Everything happens in its own time.
Some families watch TV. I read out Substack posts in an animated matter, acting out the best parts using pantomime x
When they hear me yell LOOK AT THIS from the front room they all know what's coming next lol.
😂 🤣
Hooray! Tonika this was the BEST nooze evah! I hadda feelin' it would all be OK! MY GOSH what ya endured! Those shots sound like a bear (harder than doin' the cawfee enema cha cha cha mariachi!). Bravo! Ya stood strong in the face of pressure an' guiltin' MDz (who sadly cannot git past their paradigm--tho' perhaps yer good score will teach at last the one that dumped ya a lesson). Life kinda trumps death, no? (no reference ta DJT here.. more like the card game). Somehow yer arrow hit the mark, ya made all the right cherces on yer path among so many options--an' found the LIGHT an' healin' that guided ya thru with flyin' colors. Also, ya look great! (at what price glory, right?) But that means yer health shines thru...so bess all those that helped ya manage in so many ways, specially yer mom who seems like SUCH an amazin' "rock" fer ya. HAPPY HAPPY B'DAY (an' bee day too! this is the NICEST buz evah) xos & "plenty-energy" balls! 🥳 woo hoo! ya made it!
😂 I’m not out of the woods yet! But definitely out of the abyss-mal clutches of the medical system. Sheesh! Thanks, Daisy! 🌼 appreciate you being on this journey!
wull it sounds like ya've got the woods tamed an' ready fer celebration!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3hzYRVAkUs
A toast yer way! (gluten free but no less heartfelt) ;-)
Great dance jam to wake up to! Thanks, Daisy! Hank Williams to set the day right!
So we can’t just blame it on dodgy underarm deodorant? What a ride and a read (are you sure there isn’t a book there to be written?). Immensely happy for you, ridiculously inspired by you.
But also: fuck Pluto. He/they owes you big time for that one.
Pluto can go choke on a horse dick. Aquarius better set it straight.
Hey, all them memalanches and woo woo y’all got a girl out of her head and lost in the play zone. Thanks for doing that, Isaac. Really. You’re a class act. 🙌
🙏
overjoyed. i kinda always felt you would prevail, like the hero you are
Even though we hadn’t connected in awhile, it was at a pivotal time that your message validated my route and let me stand more firmly in my confidence. Grateful for you, A! 🥰
Happy Solar Return and many, many more!
Thank you, dear!
WOOOHOOO!!!! Happy Birthday and may you have MANY Many more! What a wonderful story. You have worked so hard. I am SO HAPPY for you. I am honored to know someone like you. Clearly you are deeply connected to your inner truth!
Thanks, Amy! 🤩 feeling blessed! Glad to have made the connection with you as we seem to be on a similar wavelength! Thanks to Tereza for the intro!
Fantastic news! Thank you for sharing this here. I’ve been rooting for you!!
Happy birthday, champion :)
Thanks B S! Feels good!! 🙌