Exquisite Corpse, pt 3

April Whalley's contribution to this Holiday Medley

Well, it’s been a week since Isaac Middle’s installment of The Exquisite Corpse, and we’re officially at the midpoint with the one and only April Whalley from My Haiku Journey adding her spicy (and I mean spicy) sauce all over this collaborative fun and stress-free holiday fare. It is only apt that April is a part of this because it was inspired by a text thread we had over a meme. I have no idea how April’s haikus came into my life, but I didn’t know what I was missing. They offer a sweet respite from a lot of the black pills on Substack and are accompanied by beautiful nature photography or captures of obscure English countryside finds. I sure do hope you take a gander. When I asked April for a byline, she sent this:

"April has always wanted to be a serious writer who writes more than just 17 syllables. Unfortunately since her diagnosis with Conspiracy Spectrum Disorder in the last few years she is unable to be serious about anything."

For the record, April is my kind of unserious, and I’m sure she’ll be yours too.

So, to rehash for those dropping in anew, the Exquisite Corpse international remote collaboration is a break from our usual programming and this is its third week. Here are

Week 1

Week 2

Week 4

Week 5

and take it away, April, for part 3:

---

A bold move indeed! Officer Middle hadn’t been this close to a woman for years. He adjusted his night stick which was now digging uncomfortably into his leg. He had met his wife online in a chat room for police officers called ‘We ARE the Law’ during the Pandemic Glory Years and they had been married over Zoom after two months of whirlwind sex messaging. Last year she had divorced him on the grounds of him being unable to get her pregnant. The 6 foot distancing rule was now being blamed for a severe decline in the human population.

Charlotte looked up from her phone, startled to see that Office Middle appeared to be so much closer.

“I’d like to go and see Philip now” she said, jumping up quickly.

“Of course” said Officer Middle, disappointed but also secretly thrilled that he had got within her 6 foot barrier. His night-stick hung limply at his side now.

Charlotte found her way to Hades Ward through a maze of expertly deceptive corridors and dead ends and walked through the rows of metal beds until she recognised Philip’s weak jawline resting on a crisp white pillow. Her heart skipped a beat, she realised that there is nothing quite like the threat of losing someone to make you appreciate it might be time to declare your feelings. Just as she sat down an attractive nurse approached. The nurse tutted gently and shook her head as Charlotte began reaching for Philip’s hand lying outside the covers.

“I’m Nurse Angelica” she said, while tucking Philip’s arm tightly under the blanket. “Best not to touch him at this stage. He is very fragile, mostly unconscious apart from a few mutterings”

“What is he saying?” Charlotte asked. Hoping fervently that it might be her name.

“Mostly he just says ‘Cantus Firmus’” said Nurse Angelica

Charlotte raised her eyebrows, clearly shocked. She knew that the C word had been banned unilaterally by governments who were sick and tired of it being used to refer to them. (As a historical note it is worth recording that the word 'unilateral' has also been banned since it became a term of ridicule).

“Cantus” said Nurse Angelica, stressing the A. “It’s a musical term. I’m in Philip’s choir you know?”

Charlotte did not know. But she had thought that the nurse looked vaguely familiar.

“I believe it means something to do with climax” said the nurse. Both women looked fondly down on Philip’s inert form, imagining the musical notes floating through his unconscious mind.

In actual fact, Philip was imagining a different sort of climax and Charlotte would have blushed if she could have seen into his inner world.

Charlotte rose to leave, deciding spontaneously to leave a note for Philip when he woke up. After the embarrassment of the over share about Luna with Officer Middle she thought that it would be a good idea to write the note in Haiku form, limiting herself to 17 syllables. She found a piece of blue disposable hand towel and wrote

My dearest Philip

Just wanted to say briefly

Luna and I feel

It didn’t really cover the depth of her emotions but it was the best she had right now. Leaving Nurse Angelica to her overly tender administrations she walked back down the ward and out of the hospital.

Nurse Angelica looked at the blue hand towel and tidied it carefully into the rubbish bin. Her shift was over and after one last check on her Choir Director she donned her outside shoes and walked to the staff car park. ‘I’m going to have to get that fixed’ she thought as the sunlight glinted off the large dent on the hood of her silver-green Prius.

Week 4

---

The author of Visceral Adventure believes in the gift economy and therefore offers all content with no paywall, asking you to contribute whatever amount feels good to you. Since value is unique and subjective, only you can decide what (if any) contribution is gifted at this time. All contributions benefit and support my family.

To upgrade to a paid subscription to this stack, click on the button. For a one time gift, click on this Ko-Fi link. Or if sats is your thing, I have one foot on the BTC exit ramp and you can contribute here:

bc1qlh9r0h5czgp9cv6pzfpmwr7zg30tud7fdrx0dd

As always, thank you for being a part of my journey.